Children on interest class, halfway want to give up, do not want to learn Lang Lang dad?

2022-05-19 0 By

There was a girl on Teen Talk, calling out her mother, saying she didn’t want to take guzheng lessons anymore.The little girl said that she liked guzheng very much at first, but since her mother enrolled her for the class and urged her to practice and take the exam every day, she felt very tired and under great pressure and wanted to give up.Mother persuaded: “you have taken an examination of grade 7, immediately to grade 8, you give up now, don’t feel a pity?Guzheng is your own choice, you should stick to it, do not give up halfway.When my mother was young, she did not have this condition. You should cherish it…”There are children in the family of interest classes, may encounter this problem: the child interest class to half, say don’t like, don’t go.Some parents think to respect children’s opinions, don’t want to go.There are also parents think that children always give up halfway so ah!Lang Lang and Jay were forced to learn by their parents when they were young.What’s a parent to do?01, before answering this question, parents have to make clear three questions, do you want children to go this specialty?Do you want him to make a career out of it?Does the child have the gift?If all three of these questions are true, then you need to get serious and find her the best teacher, and more than four times a week of practice is definitely necessary.Because the road of special talent, in fact, is not easy.Many people only see the brilliance of students with special talents who can drop hundreds of points in the college entrance examination, but do not see the hardships behind the students with special talents.It takes a long time to turn your interest into a real specialty.Money is also needed.According to statistics, truly on the road of specialty, accounting for no more than 5%, compared with ordinary high examinees, this is the real single-plank bridge.Additional child has talent after all, not you say say, also not training class teacher say say, had better find the authoritative teacher of this domain to evaluate.If you are not running to a specialty, then you do not have to be so serious, the standard can be appropriately lowered, the rhythm can be slower.Of course, although the interest class as “interest” can be a bit Buddha, but the interest class can not be completely by the child, like on, don’t like not on, unless you are really rich.02. How to help your child maintain his interest?An easy reason for a child to give up is “I don’t like it anymore.”But children do not like, a lot of times is not entirely because of the thing itself, may be because they do not like the teacher, feel difficult, boring, tired, or in the class is not valued and so on.”Dislike, no interest” is, after all, no motivation to do something.Edward L. Deci and Richard Ryan, two famous American psychologists, have been devoted to the study of people’s motivation to do things.In 1970, he proposed “self-determinism”.This theory points out that whether a person can continue to be motivated to do something depends on whether three psychological needs are simultaneously satisfied: · Sense of autonomy · sense of competence · Sense of need whether a child can continue to be interested in interest classes actually depends on the following three points:1, have to meet the child’s sense of autonomy in the newspaper interest classes before giving children the opportunity to fully experience, in the case of the child is very like, very want to learn, and then give him the newspaper.Rather than a parent’s wishful thinking, single-handedly arranged.In this way, the child has no sense of autonomy and it is normal to give up.In addition, if the child is subjected to too much pressure during class, it will also make him lose his “sense of autonomy”. 2. Whether to meet the child’s sense of competence and sense of competence, to put it bluntly, the child feels that “I can” and “I can”.If the child feels that the task is too difficult for her, her sense of competence will be compromised and she will withdraw.Just like the little girl said at the beginning, the reason why she didn’t want to learn guzheng is probably because she met difficulties and was under great pressure during the practice.At this time, parents do not blindly force children to adhere to the line, but to help children to break down the task, set a reasonable goal, let her enough enough to complete.Parents can also find teachers to communicate, let the teacher encourage the child, when she does well, praise her more, let her find a sense of victory again.The mother at the beginning of the article thinks that it is very important to take the exam and insist on it. She provides the opportunity for the child and the child should cherish it. Although these are good intentions, they are just what the mother thinks is important and what the mother needs.The child may not understand, and these are not her needs.Preaching doesn’t work. The mother should find a way to get her child to have his own needs.For example, talk with your child about why she liked guzheng at the beginning. If your child has a teacher who admires guzheng, you can also tell the story of the teacher to stimulate your child’s own needs.To sum up, when a child says he does not want to learn, the first time we consider is not that he has lost interest, but what needs are not being met?In this way, the child can be fundamentally helped to continue his interest.Of course, if the child really does not want to go once or twice, give him the right to pause and rest, encourage him at the same time, waiting for him, is also a good choice.After all, hardness is easy to break, softness is long.Take it slow. It’s faster.Focus on excellent parents growth camp, parenting on the road not confused ~